The incomparable Mark Steyn:
Last month mass hysteria apparently swept the [Sudanese] capital city, Khartoum, after reports that foreigners were shaking hands with Sudanese men and causing their penises to disappear….
“Another victim, who refused to give his name, said that while he was at the market, a man approached him, gave him a comb, and asked him to comb his hair. When he did so, within seconds, he said, he felt a strange sensation and discovered that he had lost his penis.”
Tales of the vanishing penises ran rampant round the city, spread by cell phones and text messages…
…it’s useful to be reminded that the International Jewish Conspiracy is comparatively one of the less loopy conspiracies in the Islamic world. That said, they’ll probably figure out a way to pin the disappearing penises on some or other agent of Zionism. After all, according to reports in Middle East newspapers, Israel laces Arab chewing gum with secret hormones to make Muslim men hot for Jewish babes who turn out to be Mossad agents….
It is, in that sense, the perfect emblematic tale of Islamic victimhood: The foreigners have made us impotent! It doesn’t matter that the foreigners didn’t do anything except shake hands. It doesn’t matter whether you are, in fact, impotent. You feel impotent, just as — so we’re told — millions of Muslims from Algerian Islamists to the Bali bombers feel “humiliated” by the Palestinian situation. Whether or not there is a rational basis for their sense of humiliation is irrelevant.
…There’s something pathetic about a culture so ignorant even its pathologies have to be imported. But what do you expect? The telling detail of the vanishing penis hysteria is that it was spread by text messaging. You can own a cell phone, yet still believe that foreigners are able with a mere handshake to cause your penis to melt away. [SunTimes]