John Edwards – He set out an American dichotomy, an America of producers and an America of second-handers (my words but his implications), and he supports the second-handers whole heartedly. Loot the productive Americans for everything they have and give it to the bums. My god his rhetoric is disturbing.

Howard Dean – You’d almost think that he’d won. This man’s dimentia is unbelievable. He seems to believe that coming in third after being in first for such a long time is a good thing. He claims to want to take the country back for ordinary Americans yet I wonder how he explains the fact that most of the people who have donated to President Bush aren’t millionaires but “ordinary” Americans.

Dick Gephardt – Good riddance to you. As to his speech, I wanted the fiddle to play the sad music and bring on the tears. How often does he plan to use the story of his son getting cancer? Ad misercordium fallacies really are crummy when they don’t end sadly. Thanks to the labor unions? What an idiot, they already are getting artificially high wages, what more does he want, Lamborginis and mansions? Neither of his parents got through high school, he says this as something to be proud of. He’s getting out of the race, Democrats are going to win, blah, blah, blah.

John Kerry – I like how Kerry doesn’t stand for special interests, what are welfare recipients, people who want free healthcare, and has he ever heard of the “big dig”? He attributes victory to a four leaf clover? He quotes John Paul Jones for his dopey little political campaign, good comparison. More talk of powerful interests and fairness, does that mean he’s going to steal more money from us? Oh no, he’s got names of common folk, some baby factory who has a minimum wage job, so sad. He thinks someone who makes $28,000 a year with four kids is middle class? Universal healthcare to improve healthcare? Perhaps he should go to Canada, Britain, France, Scandanavia to see the long lines and fleeing doctors (fleeing to America). What an unadulterated communist this man is. And the dopey crowds lap it up.

From Cox and Forkum:

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