U.K.–Already prohibited from carrying around firearms, British police officers are pathetic enough. But now there is rising concern over a new program that allows them to carry Tasers (stun guns). After all, getting shot with a Taser kind of hurts.
Although panty-waisted British officials have already banned “export” of Tasers (which is a bit silly, since they are made in the United States, not the U.K.), officers in London, Northamptonshire, North Wales, the Thames Valley, and Lincolnshire will carry the devices for a one-year trial period. The officers will be instructed to shout, “Taser, Taser, Taser!” before firing, despite possible concern that shouting may do more harm than the Taser itself by hurting someone’s feelings.
It has not yet been proven that building a country full of hypersensitive sheep is an effective defense against terrorist aggression.