PIERCE COUNTY, WASHINGTON–Bushmaster Firearms, Inc. now finds itself looking down the barrel of one of the deadliest weapons known to man:  a ludicrous lawsuit filed by irresistibly irrational plaintiffs backed by the agenda of America’s most fashionably fascist.  Bushmaster’s “crime?”  Manufacturing a product that performs as advertised, and legally selling it to an authorized distributor.

On behalf of the families of two victims of last year’s Washington, D.C. snipers, the Brady Center to Prevent (non-government initiated) Gun Violence filed suit yesterday against the company in the Superior Court of Pierce County, Washington.  The lawsuit claims that Bushmaster, who manufactured the Bushmaster XM-15 E2S .223 allegedly used by sniper suspects John Lee Malvo and John Allen Muhammad, has “intentionally and willfully chosen to sell and distribute firearms in a grossly negligent manner.”  Bushmaster sold the rifle to a legal gun dealer in Tacoma, Washington, who later reported the weapon stolen.


Paul Luvera, the clueless attorney who filed the suit, claimed that the rifle was a “very deadly weapon designed for combat use, highly lethal, military copy.”  [Please write in if you think of uses for a rifle that isn’t “highly lethal.”]  Despite the many nasty adjectives he attached to the gun, most military snipers disagree; they prefer not to use a .223 caliber weapon because it is not sufficiently powerful to deliver potent long-distance shots against human targets.  Most hunting rifles would have performed just as well, if not better.  But Luvera also slapped the dreaded “assault weapon” label on the Bushmaster .223, which is sure to scare hordes of soccer moms into an anti-black-gun-with-pistol-grip-and-extended-magazine hysteria.  In further condemnation of the inanimate object, he noted that the rifle had been “used for sniper purposes.”  Duh.  So was Muhammad’s car.  We watched the news, too, Paul.


Hey, wasn’t the Quran “used for sniper purposes?”  Come to think of it, the Quran has historically been deadlier than all the Bushmaster .223s on the planet combined.  Now THERE’S a lawsuit, Paul…


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