New York–A herd of fat kids have filed a class-action lawsuit against McDonald’s, Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Wendy’s restaurants, blaming the companies for a nationwide epidemic of obesity.  One plaintiff, after mistakenly dropping his volition down a New York drainage grate, was overcome by the uncontrollable urge to eat all of his meals at McDonald’s everyday for three years in a row.

The suit claims that the plaintiffs “purchased and consumed the Defendant’s products and as a result thereof, have become obese, overweight, developed diabetes, coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol levels, and/or other detrimental and adverse health effects and/or diseases.”  It contains several pages of obesity statistics for the United States, as well as a section titled “Socio-Economic Ramifications” (of people stuffing their faces like pigs).

At the (clogged) heart of the suit is the complaint that McDonalds “failed to warn and/or adequately warn” that gorging on grease-soaked french-fries and corn-syrup/yellow dye #6 shakes might not be the healthiest thing to do every day for three years.

It looks as though McDonald’s food is almost as dangerous as its coffee.  Who would have thought?  Grimace seems to like it and, aside from being purple, he looks healthy.

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